It’s been a while. A long while! I’ve missed you guys so much! It’s been months since I’ve written but there isn’t a day, moment or second that I haven’t thought about it! I don’t even know where to begin, but I guess the beginning is as good a place as any.
So the last time that I wrote a post was back in November. So many things have changed since then. It’s so cliche to say, but it’s all a part of life right? I’ve faced so many silent trials and tribulations but I’m still standing! I’m sure you can relate. Not just in my life, but the whole world has changed right before my eyes and it’s only taken what seems like a matter of minutes. It’s scary and in some ways, it’s been a blessing.
For those that don’t know, I launched my online boutique Lighthouse Array on November 11. I call it a mini “Macy’s”. So exciting and terrifying in the same breath! I remember having the same exact dream twice, but months apart. Like most of us, I questioned this dream and asked for a thousand and one signs of confirmation to go forward. Fear will have you stuck. Here I am with a vision but too scared to move. Nevertheless, I received a push from a sister in Christ and years later, I started on what God called me to do. Throughout the process, I went through (and still) a roller coaster of emotions. One day I’m certain that God has called me to do this and I welcome the challenges. On other days, I struggle with my place in the entrepreneurship industry and I feel so lost. It’s hard to really put into words, but how can you be so sure one minute and doubtful the next? EASY, sis, so easy. Don’t ever think for one minute that just because God has blessed you with a dream, vision, job, marriage, child etc., that the enemy is not after your blessing and that in some way, shape or form it won’t come under attack. He comes to kill, steal and destroy and he won’t let up! But God is FAITHFUL.
Speaking of vision, I entered 2020 with what I KNEW was 2020 vision for my life. I made plans for what my job would entail. What my marriage would be like. Goals and aspirations galore. You know how it goes. “New year, new me.” I had all kinds of resolutions in the works just to get stopped in my tracks. I experienced one of the most heart wrenching things in life. One of those things that the best way to describe it is to simply say that I felt like the wind was taken out of my lungs. It hurt me to my soul and when God allows, I’ll release it. In the meantime, I continue daily through the process of healing, of building myself back up and moving forward. But God is FAITHFUL.
Through all of the ups and downs with life, spiritually I’ve taken an “L” too. I struggle with reading my word, with laying prostrate before God and letting Him have His way with me. I miss those days and I can’t even say that life and all of it’s problems have taken me away from that, I’ll just say that the fire I once had has dimmed, but it is not put out! I thank God that He knows me better than I know myself. I thank God that He sees the desires of my heart to be in His will. I thank God that nothing can separate me from His love.
I ask that you genuinely keep me in your prayers and that I walk in what God has called me too, with boldness and authority. I’ll do the same for you! I’m back, and although I may not be where I want to be, I’m right where I’m supposed to be, taking life, trials and tribulations, one day at a time.
Intimately,
Yaz
Intimacy Inc. 